What is non-negotiable?

Sometimes I notice that I feel pulled by others' behaviors and expectations of me.

No matter where you are stuck or overwhelmed, how does remembering that you get to decide your own "non-negotiables" support your optimal health?

And I notice that with my clients, as well.

One of my very favorite clients feels the strong pull of her daughter-in-law's expectations of what needs to be done, how doctor's appointments should be handled and who should be in charge, without ever asking my client what she wants for herself. It leaves my client feeling anxious and confused.

For another client, it is workplace that demands too much, too often, leaving her feeling overwhelmed and depressed.

And for another, it is a partner that pulls too far, over and over again, leaving him feeling compromised.

They are all afraid of losing something important to them if they stand their ground.

But what is negotiable and what is just not?

As we work together to identify core values, my clients' eyes light up, the courage returns, the posture shifts from a resigned slump, to a forward leaning stance.

And the answer to what is non-negotiable starts to become crystal clear.

If a core value is "balance" - then that is non-negotiable for the young mom doc with overwhelming charting responsibilities. We can start to work together to create new opportunities for to align her behaviors with her beliefs.

And if a core value is "integrity", then truth telling becomes a non-negotiable for the compromised husband. We work together to summon the courage for him to walk his talk.

For the very favorite client with the controlling daughter-in-law? "Family" is a core value, so negotiating doctors' appointments in a way that doesn't compromise family unity is key.

One of my core values is "integrity." Watch me walk that talk.

When I remember that I am in the drivers' seat of my own life and that I get to decide, for me, what is non-negotiable, it feels super healthy.

Make remembering to notice what is non-negotiable for you, on a regular basis, a healthy habit.